The Horseless Carriage and The Pagan Practices of The Hindu

15 08 2012

A Most Fantastical Invention

Astonishing Futuristic Predictions

An address given to the distinguished members of the Royal Society by Dr Charles Hammersmith on Wednesday night drew unqualified astonishment due to his futuristic predictions of a singularly novel device, to wit, the horseless carriage.  The utterly startling predictions would under normal circumstances have been dismissed as the ravings of a madman should the speaker have been found to be other than the most distinguished Dr Hammersmith. A lively commentary ensued from members of the audience concerning the philosophical implications. There were strong convictions expressed among the distinguished gathering that should any man actually succeed in producing a horseless carriage it would be of absolutely no practical value. This consideration did nothing to dampen the scientific fascination with the concept and it was generally agreed that Dr Hammersmith satisfied his inquisitors as to the veracity of the proposition. Concerning his assertion that heavier than air flight would one day be achieved however it was resoundingly agreed that such a notion would remain firmly in the realm of the fantastical.

The Patented Flying Machine an Impossible Dream

Patented Flying Machine

Ghastly Pagan Practices of The Subcontinent

After a refreshment break in the proceedings a most entertaining account was given by Dr Percival Hollingsworth of the pagan practices of a Hindu sect of the subcontinent. Dr Hollingsworth described to all in detail his anthropological study of a Hindu sect known as the Bal, in which he claimed that adherents were able to achieve such seemingly impossible feats as floating in a manner that defies gravity. Dr Hollingsworth furthermore gave a thoroughgoing account of the practices of the sect leaving none in any doubt as to the ghastly albeit dreadfully interesting pagan practices that had been observed firsthand.

A Swami from the Subcontinent

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